G.I. beans and G.I. gravy 
Gee, I wish I’d joined the Navy 

We used to sing that song at Fort Polk when we were marching around the backside of Louisiana in the summer heat, carrying packs and rifles and looking for a good place to sleep in the dirt. This was a rhyme everybody could get behind. Sometimes a drill sergeant would notice your enthusiasm and would get in your face and yell something like, “NAVY? ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON’T WANT TO BE IN MY ARMY?” 

There is no way to answer that question that is going to satisfy anybody. The honest response would be, “heck no…I was drafted.” If you didn’t have better sense than to answer that way, you quickly acquired it. Drill sergeants are a touchy breed. 

We also sang Jodie songs: Ain’t no use in going home, Jodie’s got your girl and gone. Or the longer form variation: Ain’t no use in looking back, Jodie’s got your Cadillac…ain’t no use in feeling blue, Jodie’s got your girlfriend, too. 

I never was sure why we had to sing that stuff. Maybe whoever wrote those lyrics just wanted to make it clear right up front that a certain amount of unfairness and hardship came with the job. 

Recent events have reminded me of those cadence songs, especially that line, “Gee, I wish I’d joined the Navy.” 

Apparently, there are bunch of sailors aboard the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln who now are saying “gee, I wish I hadn’t.” Life is hard out there on the ocean, and they’ve been there for a lot longer than they thought they would be. It would not surprise me to hear the phrase “I didn’t sign up for this (bleep)” regularly repeated aboard this ship. They have a lot to complain about.  

However, it would also not surprise me to hear that phrase aboard the U.S.S. George Washington, which is sailing out to take the Lincoln’s place and hasn’t really done anything yet. If there is a U.S.S. Millard Fillmore, a U.S.S. Chester Alan Arthur or a matched pair of U.S.S. Harrisons out there somewhere, they probably have crewmembers who wish they were somewhere else and not doing what they are doing. They all no doubt have legitimate complaints. 

It is a military tradition to send too many people to places they don’t want to be, make them stay there for longer than they want to stay, pack them into too small a place so they will be in each other’s faces and run short of whatever it is they need while being somewhat indifferent to the quality of the lives they are living. 

It is also a tradition for those who are sent to gripe about it. 

I’m not saying that complaints should not be listened to or that there aren’t real hardships, sacrifices and suffering aboard that ship, or that these are not issues that should be addressed. But some perspective is called for. The question isn’t “are these sailors unhappy?” It is “are they unhappy beyond the regularly scheduled unhappiness that comes with being a sailor?” 

What might be more to the point, do those who have made an issue out of this really care? Is it about the well-being of those who serve, or is this just another game of political ping-pong? Don’t know, but it did make me think of an updated, more upbeat marching song: 

I eat and sleep and live in dirt 
My boots are tight, my tootsies hurt  
But it ain’t so bad the way I’m thinkin’ 
At least I ain’t aboard the Lincoln